Firefox: The next, next generation.

I feel like this headline comes up at least once a week, but Firefox released yet another version 3 beta, supposedly the final update before the official release of version 3 in June. This new release includes an updated 3-D processor for the browser which allows the user to insert money directly into their monitor in exchange for goods and services from an elite test-group of corporate providers, most notably Amazon.com and the Apple Corporation. The user can then watch as the money is liquefied and injected directly into Steve Jobs’ brain. Jobs then smokes a whole cigar through a hole in the center of his forehead before pressing a big red button which purportedly dumps napalm on fenced-in orphans in developing African nations.

“It’s really something,” said a spokesperson for Apple. “In today’s world, the most disposable people still serve the purpose of entertaining good rich folks, like myself and Mr. Jobs.”

He then swallowed a small pill, turned into a gila monster, and waddled away.

~ by KB on April 2, 2008.